Moss Whispers

Such precious feet fit into these little shoes! Oliver loves to put them on and off over and over again. He walks with his left hand held up in a tiny fist and his right arm swinging to his step. And when he gets excited he shoots both arms up in the air like he’s walking fast over a speed bump. If he stumbles, which is pretty rare, he picks himself up and brushes his hands together to ‘brush it all off.’ Every step is passionate and important and carries us all on new adventures. A time of so many ‘firsts’ in his life! And to top it all off, there’s a smile and from time to time, a serious/studying look that accompanies each step on his life of adventure! It’s been so fun to walk alongside him and his family this weekend!

This weekend I’m stepping away from painting what my eyes and mind see to spending time with our grandson, Oliver and his wonderful mom and dad. Such wonder, love, curiosity, and intense work on research and development, is the life of a little child.  There is no better way to BE in the PRESENT, and behold the whole display of LIFE! Thank you, Oliver for new eyes every moment! 

I need to stop and share the endings and beginnings in the meadow. Even Martha Julia Agnes Adele would stop to look at these marvels in the meadow! I look forward to this time of year to see my last favorite wildflower of the blooming season in the meadow and here she is in all her glory! In the morning  dew she looks like diamond pearls!

And as these beauties are bringing in the last blooms of the season, this little red maple is the first to turn down at The Hillock to usher in the colors of fall! Francklin and I love them ALL!

Down at the bottom of the meadow past The Hillock at the edge of the treeline, is one of my favorite places to go! It’s my ‘wannabe moss farm’ where the moss whispers and where the moss tender listens with an eager ear. I love to be near it and listen as well. The light show that accompanies the whole symphony of sounds is equally as compelling to the eye. The palate of colors changes in an instant as the light dances on the cushy floor. And I get to marvel at it all! I love to close my eyes and feel the different textures! The Hillock is also covered with mosses, but somehow, this moss seems to speak the loudest to me! The best kept secret of the meadow! Shhh…listen! and enjoy!

As I debrief from working with the Twigs at Twilight and let them sit on their branches for a rest, I’m back to walking the meadow, living my life as it goes, and listening to the MossWhispers that come my way. Part of my listening comes through my eyes as well. On my way up from the Hillocks (for there are many in the meadow), I usually make my final winded steps over the roots of a large oak tree near our house. As on many tree trunks, wooden floors, and just about any rough surface, I see faces…and each face immediately shares part of its story. Most of these stories roll around in my own head, and perhaps sift through my own facial expressions. Here are just a few. 

Yesterday evening when I was walking our dogs down at the creek, I sensed a ‘whisper’ in the mossy area that I call ‘my moss farm’. I glanced back and there curled on the ground was the tiniest fawn I’d ever seen. This time of year I’ve often come across a tiny fawn curled at the roots of a tree on the edge of the meadow, but NEVER had I seen one so so small. She was perfectly still as fawn are supposed to be when they are discovered. Many hours later, Alex discovered that she was still there and looked not just still, but lifeless. It was beginning to get dark and she was ‘parked’ right on what I would map out as the neighborhood coyote crowd’s night trail. Even though we knew that wild animals should be left for their mothers, I was convinced that this little one wouldn’t make it and if left there, would be ‘thrown to its predators’. My maternal instincts wouldn’t let me walk away when ‘the dark was coming’ as our firstborn child used to call the beginning of nighttime. So we made a ‘human’ decision to bring her to the house to keep her safe for the night, thinking that something had possibly happened to her mother.

Fastforwarding to today, after letting the ‘little dear’ sleep with a hot water bottle in our giant laundry tub, I began feeding her a bottle of ‘deer colostrum’ from a baby bottle. After a few swigs, she was up and wobbling, eager to get out of the little green tub. Not wanting to restrain her, I watched as she climbed out and all four legs slid sideways out from under her. Little Mossy, as I began to call her was then ready to go after the bottle again. I took her out to our covered pen in the woods where we used to keep our giant English lop, Potato. She guzzled the rest of her bottle, almost climbed in my lap, ending up curling in her sweet little ball on the ground.

Little did I know that I was already quickly bonding with this little creature, and after checking with neighbors and studying more about fawn raising, I was content with the idea of devoting next days toward nurturing Little Mossy until she was able to eat grass and fend on her own. Then it would be time to do what I had learned from one neighbor and gradually introduce her back into her wildlife setting. Where hopefully she would follow suit and get adopted by the herd of deer that shares our two yards and gardens! I was content with a new ‘babe’ to nurture, until…until Alex came home with the resolute ‘right thing to do’!!! He, too, had researched and talked with wild animal-savvy people, and strongly suggested we take it back down in the meadow, not feed it so that it would make sounds looking for it’s mother, and let it go.

I wasn’t ‘easy’ to bring around, not without flailing my own dear legs and ’emoting’ a bit. I cleaned up a whole area by the studio just to vent my frustration and to exercise my ‘NO’ for a bit before I came around to marching down into the meadow sadly behind him as he carried her back to let her go.

I sat at the Fairie Hillock for a good while to ‘cry out’ my ‘no-ness’ and to get to the ‘yes’ of it all…Yes, what awesome moments of nature we’d experienced. Yes… what sweetness and beautiful creatureliness. Yes…how quickly this little fawn connected with us. Yes…how hard to let go of such tenderness, such precious life. Yes…it belongs to all of Nature. Yes…so do I…

And here’s ‘the moss whisper’ for me… I felt joy so briefly…joy that felt like ‘a first love’ when I fed this little wood nymph from a bottle. And in letting go, the sadness came just as quickly as the joy left! But the moment, the moment of connecting with such a tiny sweet deer…lasts forever! And the moment when I had tried to become its owner and hold on to that happiness moment, quickly turned to sadness. I was stepping beyond my domain,  expecting that I could make that joy last forever….so now, now I’m grateful for the whisper…and this moment of rain on the tin roof…Thank you little dear! Thank you for this mossy lesson!