Moss Whispers

I love all the memories that this image brings to the fore in my heart! Actually this photo is of our son John and his son Joe (4) walking in the city streets of HongKong. It is similar to many moments I recall as the two of them walked around Beijing, or on the Great Wall, and at the huge train station where we boarded an 11 hour high speed (300+mph) train to Zhuhai on the southern China coast where Catherine’s parents and sister’s family live.

THIS is the image of two Master Storytellers on the move! Joe was always saying to his dad, “Tell me a story, Daddya!” And John would begin………. but that was ALL he had to do! for Joe would quickly be right in step with him, taking the story to peaks way beyond even where his Daddya could conceive. John, for example, might say (I’m making this one up because I can’t remember their complicated stories!) something like…”and then, and then! Bruce Wayne met Peter Parker for the first time…” Joe would excitedly interrupt! “No! No! he went to see Clark Kent first, since, since Batman and Superman were best friends!” Thus a Collaborative Adventure along the streets of China would begin! They could walk for hours!!!! Joe never got bored or tired as long as he was in the middle of a Super Story!

Even waiting at intersections to cross safely or for a double-decker bus taxi, provided moments to reflect, recharge, and ruminate on their thickening plots! Joe’s default waiting position was to sit on his Daddy’s foot. Joe and John are definitely Avid Adventure Architects and their tales are so much taller than any of China’s tallest buildings! And believe me, we experienced quite the tall ones!

Joe brings so many experiences and images to the stories I read to him each of my evenings! He starts his day saying, “Mossy! Granddad! Read me a story!…..Read aNOTHER story!…” and so we do!

For those of you who ‘really know me’ and my quirky ways! You KNOW that it’s hard for me to do the same thing over and over, to follow a schedule, to follow a discipline. Though I DO have a strong belief about keeping my word to others and especially to others who are children. There have been nights (now, with daylight savings time, 8pm our time and 8 am on the China side of the world) when Alex and I have shared the time, especially when I was having coughing fits. Thankfully, I married the most disciplined, consistent man in the world!

So stories march on! Night by night! And the more we do it, the more Joe loves it! We keep a pile of the books we’ve read, some more than once! And it is approaching becoming a tall ‘book building’ itself! Don’t get me wrong, he’s not just sitting starry-eyed gazing on just the pages of the book! He does that in ADDITION to multi-tasking. His days are full and he has much to do even if it is all inside! He’s working on his lego characters, or perfecting his sword moves or scrunching his brow to not miss a single image from the story across time zones, miles and wires. Even if it seems like he’s busy with something else, he’s taking it all in….and incorporating all into his amazing network of neurons!

These ‘book buildings’ are cropping up all over the place as other cousins get into these story adventures with Joe! Andrea and Nora could have read fed me more books to read if my voice hadn’t given out! When we are in Charlotte, spending time with Oliver (7) and Finley (4), we still get our call from Joe! Storytime spans the miles!

Time to give an update on our new ‘spirit animal friend’, HAWK. Many of you have asked how he or she is doing. After two days in a row of being ‘visited’ by our new bold friend, we have walked around that bend of the meadow, with great anticipation, searching eyes and soul. This area is near the creek bend and the ‘wannabe’ pond which has become more of Atticus Dog’s MudMessAboutMarsh! We have not have any earth floor visits by our HawkFriend, yet I’m always aware of two beautiful highflying ones in the blue sky nearby.

I was grateful to hear from my birding guru, Pam Diamond, who checked with her hawk gurus, facts about hawks that make me think it was ‘mantling’ when it lifted his wings like in the first picture. They apparently do this when they are ‘protecting a hunt’ or ‘territory’. Both of these things really fit what this beauty was doing. The first day it literally SWOOPED down and PLOPPED right in front of our two dogs and took its STANCE with shoulders lifted and wings fanned.

The other fact I learned through her from her friends, (Thank you Hawk Gurus!) is that for the other possibility of its being injured: If it were injured and left there, it wouldn’t survive for more than a few days. If that had been the case, I think we would have found some clues of decay smells, feathers or something. We really LOOKED. And better than that! our two dogs would have sniffed him out. So I’m relieved to go with the guru’s first scenario, along with OF COURSE, the spiritual symbolism of its visit! This brings me to what I wrote before about what I think this amazing creature is bringing up for me to learn in my life!

So here flows what I’m hearing from this bold bird’s whispers: • take your stance • listen to your pain in your shoulders, your spine, your neck • your pain is telling you that you need to ready your wings to fly (and maybe change where you do your writing!) • being ready includes this moment in time when you take your stands and grow roots that will sustain you even in the sky • then you can rise above the details, the stuff in your life that is holding you down • as you heal your own wings and all spine and muscle that hold them, you will fly beyond the small wonders that you love. • your vision will widen to include all you need to see next • from this point you will see all points and your heart will know and show you your focus • as you fly you will also see more intense pain and suffering in the world. • to keep focusing and flying over and through all this will take discipline, for you must keep your own creative core strong. • this is when you will need a strong gathering of support and encouragement, including some that is bold and blunt. • take this support and fly with it, always knowing that you have your nest to catch you and renew you. • for you are always held in the air and on the ground by breath of Life itself! • stay aware and concerned for all of Life and also know that It is Held, as am I, the hawk.

I went back to the meadow on day three at the same time to see if the hawk was present on the ground. I didn’t see it but did see on the periphery as I headed that way, a hawk flying in the sky. Within no time, it crossed the meadow sky until she was flying overhead. It continued circling and reappearing as long as I was on that corner of the meadow. Why, I don’t know for sure. What I DO know is that my inner response hasn’t gone but has grown instead.

I’m still experimenting with ways to illustrate this brief story about a child being in quarantine. Our grandson’s Joe and baby Alex and his mom and dad are two of my heroes as they continue to self quarantine in Beijing, going on two months now. I think John took Joe out in their courtyard once or twice briefly for some fresh air. Catherine continues to make the most amazing meals for all of them from food they order and have delivered to the gate of their neighborhood. They have stayed much healthier than I have lately! The made themselves a family schedule that includes exercise time, window sun time, storylines, working, yoga, and so much more.

Regarding this illustration, as with all of them, I become more and more aware of how much more have to learn about perspective, scale, light, shadows, not to mention color and techniques. I may end up doing this drawing over and over. These children are supposed to be on a window seat looking down below from the 11th floor. Instead, my drawing makes it look like they are on the ground level and that these tiny bikes and scooters are merely little toys! Much to learn! Much to learn All matters and manners of things to learn! Loving it!

As I begin each day, I awaken with a body that house memories of all that has gone before and thankfully an openness to possibilities yet unknown. In the midst of this, is usually the presence of chronic pain, figments of fatigue and of course fabricated fears that want to cling and tag along on my journey. Yet the most exciting thing about ‘waking up’ that thankfully supersedes all others is the anticipation of the Unknown! The wonder of alluring Adventure! The trust in the Unseen. And the faith that accompanies meeting Challenge. I’m invited to discover the Treasures that are hidden in THIS DAY!

Today I’m grateful for the memories, that even Facebook helps bring to fore as it did today. This picture greeted me through the algorithmic mystery wires. It reminds me that even this little guy found what he was searching for, the answer to his question about what was making the “Jingle in My Pocket.”

And then flashed into my head that even the “Twigs at Twilight: In Search of Lacey Leaf” found their lost friend!

And now, though it took 7 years, “Martha Julia Agnes Adele” was helped by her newfound friends to not only find the shoe she lost when she tripped and fell at The Hillock! but also to discover that she had learned something that she hadn’t realized before.

And for all these characters, the elation experienced at the moment of ‘the Find” is only as intensely wonderful as the searching journey itself! So today, I’m grateful to be continuing on ‘the Search’ no matter what I find along the way! And, like Martha Julia Agnes Adele, sometimes the treasure I think might be the treasure, is only a goal that moves me forward so that I can discover the REAL TREASURES lurking in my shadows and linking also to the search along the way. Like Martha, I may actually LEARN or CONNECT with something to put in my trip bag of Intangibles that empowers my life long journey!!! Those are the Gifts of Gratitude, unsought-for and unexpected!

Here’s one learning that I must internalize over and over. For it fuels my faithfulness even in moments of Loss, Despair, Disillusionment, or DisEase. THIS is worth noting for any Creative using any medium, and that means ALL of US!:

Just after the moment that I accomplish ‘a Find,’ no matter how exciting and satisfying it is….I realize it is quickly followed by that feeling of loss…at least for that moment, I am ‘off the search train’…feeling LOST and bewildered…Now what? This is the time of soul searching, going within, listening, renewing my soul, feeling my pain and fear, building my trust in ‘not knowing what’s next’ and not knowing where my focus needs to lie. THIS is the series of moments where Life will lead me as I flounder, faithfully taking random steps, allowing for trips and falls, and finally realizing that without knowing I have stepped back onto the ‘search train’ or perhaps I never stepped off?

OH! How much I love the ongoing treasure hunt process of LIFE! Maybe this is my ultimate addiction? I don’t know. And even THAT is exciting!?!?!

Either this Hawk is being bolder or is injured. Day two at the same late morning time, almost noon, I walked Atticus and Francklin down in the meadow to maintain my sanity and hopefully clear more of this sinus crud from my lymph system. Just in case, I carried Atticus’ ‘listen-to-me leash’. Just to relive the feelings I had yesterday when Hawk met us on the path, we followed the same walk. I was of course, hoping and not hoping to see our awesome guest. There was so much listening that I hadn’t done, just in case this was some providential visit. Yet I worried that if Hawk presented again, that it could mean that it was injured in someway?

As we came close to the same bend in the path, Atticus began his persistent bark of heralding! I had to look harder this time, for though its presence was powerful, it was well camouflaged among the meadow grasses. With raised and spread wings it took a bold stance in the tall grasses. It’s feathers glowed with the midday sun shining upon them. Fortunately, Atticus listened to my calls and I leashed him by my side. Francklin obediently followed.

Again I began to reassure Hawk that we wouldn’t hurt him. That I hoped there was no injury and that I was there to help and to listen and learn. “I want to hear what you are saying to me.” Being a mossy motormouth, it took great discipline just for me to stop talking to it. After some silence, I said we hoped all was okay and not injured, and then we continued our walk down to the creek. I hoped he had a way to get water. I made a plan to come back and check once I took the dogs back up to the house.

Of course after trudging back up the big hill, I was easily wiped out and needing to tend to coughs and care for myself. Later that afternoon, when Alex got home, I mustered enough energy to go down in the meadow one more time to see if the Hawk were still there. Alex and I both looked everywhere in the meadow. We brought a water bowl in case we came upon thirsty hawk. We walked through the tall grasses and the woods near the meadow clearing, under the tall tree with the nest endings and beginnings, but no Bold Beautiful Being this time at around 3:30 pm. Only footprints. No feathers.

Where had Hawk gone in only 3 1/2 hours? Why had the Hawk appeared at our pathway two days in a row, at almost the same time and place? But was nowhere later? My theories:

• hawk is staking territory for building this year’s home • hawk’s time of day for gathering sticks and nest-building materials . • hawk is injured and ‘grounded’ and midday is when it might be warmest in the meadow. •hawk is hunting lunch critters. • hawk has an early hatchling somewhere that is needing protection.

The strongest possibilities to me are the first three. Unless, this particular Hawk at this particular time in my life, on this particular path is purposely pronouncing something profoundly spiritual and important for me. I’m used to being in awe of hawks from here below as I watch them gracefully fly and circle the sky. But that perspective is limited to my awe of hawks, not benefitting from their wide vision and wide perspective. Mossy, if this is ‘it’ or mixed with some of the other ‘its’, what is this Spiritual Being saying to me?

So here flows what I’m hearing from this bold bird’s whispers: • take your stance • listen to your pain in your shoulders, your spine, your neck • your pain is telling you that you need to ready your wings to fly • being ready includes this moment in time when you take your stands and grow roots that will sustain you even in the sky • then you can rise above the details, the stuff in your life that is holding you down • as you heal your own wings and all spine and muscle that hold them, you will fly beyond the small wonders that you love. • your vision will widen to include all you need to see next • from this point you will see all points and your heart will know and show you your focus • as you fly you will also see more intense pain and suffering in the world. • to keep focusing and flying over and through all this will take discipline, for you must keep your own creative core strong. • this is when you will need a strong gathering of support and encouragement, including some that is bold and blunt. • take this support and fly with it, always knowing that you have your nest to catch you and renew you. • for you are always held in the air and on the ground by breath of Life itself! • stay aware and concerned for all of Life and also know that it is Held, as am I, the hawk.

I went back to the meadow on day three at the same time to see if the hawk was present on the ground. I didn’t see it but did see on the periphery as I headed that way, a hawk flying in the sky. Within no time, it crossed the meadow sky until she was flying overhead. It continued circling and reappearing as long as I was on that corner of the meadow. Why, I don’t know for sure. What I DO know is that my inner response hasn’t gone but has grown instead.

Yesterday morning Alex, Francklin, and Atticus and I took a morning walk. I was just trying to keep up and so awed to be outside hoping my lymph glands would drain, grateful to be with them and ALL. Suddenly we saw (and felt!) something enter our realm and plop down in front of us. A huge red-tailed hawk…appeared right in front of us on our walk! The dogs began their barking. Atticus, especially pounced around, it ready to play. Meanwhile Alex tried to manage the dogs and I began wondering ‘WHY’….was it trying to catch a field rat? was it protecting something from the dogs? was it injured? was there a premature baby bird somewhere around? It had perfectly timed its entrance right in front of us, as if it had SOME intention and purpose… now what was it?

After Alex and I got the dogs away, (fortunately Alex carries a leash in his pocket for Atticus), we both continued to FEEL the awesome wonder of this visitor on our walk, and to wonder what caused him to continue to stay around? Was he hurt? Alex got on his phone to reach out to Piedmont Animal Rescue and finally left a message at a Raptor Center number. Meanwhile, I continued exploring the ‘why’ ….

I remembered in years past there had regularly appeared a giant nest up high over the ‘old abandoned pond, turned bog.’ I looked up, and probably a 40 foot walking distance from us was what appeared to be the beginnings of this year’s giant nest. Was he or she just swooping down to find more sticks for the nest? or just protecting territory? Seemed too early in the year for babies to have arrived, and the nest didn’t look big enough yet….hmmm…so why had this magnificent creature timed its entrance into our lives with such precision?

Alex was now free to hold the dogs, and it was MY turn to quietly absorb what this powerful presence was trying to say by its lingering presence. I slowly moved towards him til I was about 8 feet away. Probably I could have felt feathers with my fingers, but saturating my soul was enough for me. I talked softly to him as he looked at me, telling him that he was okay, and that we wouldn’t let anything hurt him. Yet had I zoomed in on his or her huge talons, I would have realized that he or she probably didn’t need reassurance from me. I was experiencing a powerful being, primed and ready for anything that came his or her way! At the time, I didn’t realize how much more there was to ‘take in’ from this unannounced visitor that appeared in front of us.

After we settled back home with the dogs, Alex went back down in the meadow to make sure that the hawk truly wasn’t staying around from an injury. This magnificent bird which I was beginning to learn might have been a female, was gone. But not inside my spirit and psyche. There was still much to learn.

I began to read profusely about these birds, their habits, their size, their symbolism from ancient times to now. I learned that they are monogamous, and mate for life. The female is usually larger than the male. They usually are not social, but this time of year may appear closer to humans. They often come back to the same spot each year for nesting, and may build upon an old nest with sticks. This is the time of year that happens. The nests can grow in size to up to 3 feet tall and 2 or so feet wide. They mate and begin a brood often in March. There much more that I inhaled eagerly and stored in my brainsponge and soul. Here are a few prompts for my pondering the meaning of this beautiful bird’s bold appearance in our lives:

“When Hawk swoops into your life be ready for a whole new level of awareness developing in your mind and spirit. Hawk bears observation skills and broad perspectives on His wings. You could not ask for a better companion if you’ve been working on your overall insights….” from whatisyourspiritualanimal.com

Thank you, Hawk of our universe, for your visit to my vision and for awakening me to whatever is right in front of me! I gladly draw on your vision, your ability to see beyond any little pictures I’m micro focusing on. I’m ready to learn from you. What goosebumps of gratitude I already feel and I don’t really know why!! ACIU!